When I accidently got mistaken for an aspiring stripper…not even a real one….
Arrived at the Apple store red faced, hungry whilst performing my best damsel in distress (you know, to secure a spot at the genius bar T O D A Y)
Sweaty me: I need your help, my computer doesn't turn on anymore. I need it today for WORK ...pleazzzzze
(subtext I was hoping to convey: Am needed like a heart surgeon in a McDonalds...???).
It WORKED. Got an appointment.
Way earlier than planned…..but wasn't going to push it and say: “I need to grab some lunch first is there any way we could….?”
NOPE, didn't 😄! Not that kind of crazy here.
My computer turned on in front of the Apple Genius like “this digital grandma (DGM) got her knickers in a twist over my power switch, she CRAZY”
Now sporting an embarrassed smile and feet shuffling like rainman, I finally said: “I promise it wasn't turning on for at least 24 hours”.
Leave it to the pro to witness my crazy
Wasn’t the first time he met my kind (the DGMs) so almost sure he didn’t think I just felt like commuting an hour on a dirty tube, to socialise at the Apple Genius Bar. So he kindly looked into it.
Turned out my disk needed a spring clean with a Daisy Disk, so it would stop playing with me (sounds like a few past dates could have benefited too - in my twenties, OBVIOUSLY totally have my sh*t together now… 😜)
Here’s where it got weird
Whilst the genius looked for the Daisy Disk on my computer - my computer thought it would AGAIN embarrass me and bring up in the search preview my friend's book
titled: ‘Think like a stripper’ by Erika Lyremark
Here’s what happened next...
Me: She's a business mentor
Genius: Looking at me, eyes filled with $$$ bills
Me: (slightly too casual) Seriously, she's really good
Genius: Still speechless (nothing to do with me wearing an old T, dirty hair in a bun and crazy eyebrows that needed shaving, I mean threading.)
Me: She runs a multi-million commercial property now, it's a book on business!
Genius: Face in a shape of question mark
Me: Showing him her website
Genius: Ah, a success story then!
Hmm...maybe I preferred it when he thought I had the legs for the job, nevermind, need to learn more on how to be a creature of mystery and keep my mouth shut.
I’m telling you this in the name of Perception vs Reality
When I’m being mistaken for:
A vegan because I have a salad
For an immoral yogi because I enjoy my red wine with a steak (yes, that way around)
Thing is, I live in this world, am not a monk living on a mountain top, nor chasing needles down an alleyway.
I’m not trying to get to 200 gazillion years old + what if they make red wine illegal by then? Far fetched? Heroin used to be sold over the chemist counter and claimed to be great for your complexion, digestion and clear the mind (I bet it did)….take that, avocado!
All I want is to feel good, look good and be happy whilst I’m at it. You look better when you’re happy, no one likes a miserable healthy person but if they smile and can take a joke I’M ALL IN!
Anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? What’s your latest embarrassing story? Tell me!