Yours in health, inappropriately
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What’s an ex stand-up comic doing health coaching?! Whaaaaaat??????!!!!!!!!

 

Good question. First of all, I wasn’t that funny. Let’s just say I’m no Ali Wong.

But second, I’ve always been obsessed with health and longevity.

And it’s paid off: When I tell people my age (40), they say, “Holy shit. What are you doing?”

If you’re wondering that, too (don’t worry, I’ll tell you exactly what I’m doing). Here are some other questions you might have:

Are you a doctor?

Nope. I’m a health LIFEstylist aka Consultant. I help busy women in their 30s (or well on their way there) to lead a more FUN, healthy lifestyle.

I’m not a formal expert, BUT I am a girl who’s tried it and lived it–to save you the money, headaches, and legwork.

I’ve already figured out:

  • How to make healthy recipes that don’t take an hour to prep (and actually taste good).

  • How to pick your skincare from all the overhyped products and get what actually works.

  • The regular habits that go a looong way for your health (some daily ones and some quick fixes for when you need to get rid of that cold without those dirty pills).

Want to know how? C'mon, you know you do!

 
 
 

So what’s your story? What sh*t have you been through?

  • Oh, plenty. Intentional or not, I’ve spent the past 20 years of my life (aka my entire adulthood) trying to figure out how to keep myself young (fabulous… and funny.)
  • As an aspiring actor: I was desperate to stay young, so I could still get my "big break" before I became "irrelevant". I did ALL the diets: no sugar, no gluten, no booze, daily vegetable juices, vegetarian, vegan.
  • As a woman looking for "The One": I kept doing detoxes, when I wasn’t acting anymore, because I was single -- still am -- and whatever they say about beauty being on the inside, you can’t see that beauty from across the room. This constant pressure on us women, because we have eggs, dammit. 
  • As a bad girl, I used to smoke 30 cigarettes a day - which increased to 40 on a night out - and drank my bodyweight in alcohol. I’ve had to do a lot of damage control

None made me happy. Don’t get me wrong–the party years were a ton of fun but you always end up paying for it in terms of health (and looks). And in my strictest of health-driven years my skin looked great but everything was so (over) controlled - and to be frank....dull.

 
 
 
 

The point is: I’ve been there, done that.

I’ve gone on booze-fueled benders and tried to starve myself into forever young… but in the end, I realised that moderation (SNOOZE) + balance were the key and that being healthy is a lifestyle.

I still eat chocolate. I love me a steak and some wine. I have a life. With friends. And you know what? It works.

 
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So what? You think you’re perfect now?!

Haha! Definitely not! I'm just like you (unless, you’re a unicorn, then congrats). Embarrassing sh*t happens to me too:

  • Hormones play a mean game on us: hair grows in strange new places; you gain a tache and goatee but go thinner on your head...Wtf?!
  • You pee yourself doing jumping jacks
  • Periods get heavier
  • Grey pubes, any minute now....
  • We dry up...and I could go on...

In short, it’s emotionally draining.

Obviously if you’re running from a dictatorship those examples are like "WHATEVS" but I’ll assume, just like me, you’re one of the lucky ones who lives a sheltered life, if so, then YEAH it’s FREAKING DRAINING and if you’re single wanting to find a partner (or in a couple and worried by the hot YOUNG nanny next door), then it can add an extra dimension of pain to all of this.

I'm also here to talk about those things - 

And so, whether it’s about wrinkles or wine - acne or apple pie–it’s all about making intentional, well-balanced decisions.

 
 
 

Is this for me?

Check "YES", if...
  • You’ve hit your 30s (or are wellll on your way there).
  • You want to look great, feel great, and just need some practical advice to get (+ stay) there.
  • You want to create a healthy LIFEstyle–emphasis on the LIFE part...which means that you want to be able to imbibe in an occasional glass or three (oops) of wine.
  • You want to be able to have your cake and eat it too (mmm cake).
Check "NO", if...
  • You’re a self-described hippy who obsesses over the ingredients in every drugstore bottle and assigns all your hygiene to crystals and patchouli. (I’ve been that girl. I still like my crystals and coconut oil, but sometimes your skin needs a dose of science.)
  • You’re a member of PETA or similar. I respect PETA, it’s just that what I teach does not align with it so keep that in mind.
  • You're looking for a one-size fits all, super strict rulebook to follow to the letter.
 
 

I like what you're dishing out. Where can I get some?

So you're ready to get off the wellness-trend bandwagon and get a realistic plan for your health & skincare? Then, click that button below to check out my latest offering.